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		Make Your Mother Proud, Learn to Live Well With Others: Information to Help Students Make Good Roommate Choices By Evan Maxon, Community Advisor, Rockhurst University Roommate problems make for challenging and sometimes irreconcilable situations for students living in on-campus residence halls. Housing and residence life staff work hard to match new roommates together per roommate matching data, knowing that harmonious living leads to a better transition to on-campus life. But what are we doing to assist our returning students in making successful living transitions beyond the first year? At Rockhurst University, we surveyed students to determine the main causes of conflict in living situations. The following communication, which will be sent to all current on-campus students prior to the room sign-up process, reflects the results of our research. We hope that this communication with residents assists them in making good choices as they self-select future roommates. Pre-Room Selection Communication with Rockhurst Returning Students: One of the main problems arising from living in a group setting outside the family is conflict between roommates. Many of these problems may be prevented by residents properly selecting roommates, or alleviated, by roommates setting forth rules or guidelines that are acceptable to all occupants. Following are a couple of suggestions from previous Rockhurst University Town House Village residents to consider when selecting who you would like to live with next year. When selecting a roommate, or roommates, consider: Their tendency towards clean habits versus yours. A good rule of thumb is to pick people who are have the same habits as you, any more or less may cause a disturbance amongst the townhouse. Their involvement in school and activities compared to your own study habits. The goal is to live in harmony where each roommate can feel comfortable at the townhouse and not only accomplish what they need to accomplish, but to not prevent their roommates from doing the same. Selecting roommates that you are already on a good communication level with. This is instrumental in continued harmony. Should one roommate be bothered by a habit of another, nothing will be improved without communication. Their schedule compared to yours. Then consider how often you would like to see your roommates. Some people, when surveyed, said that they would like to see their roommates more often; others replied that they would like to see roommates less often. Paying extra money to live with less than full occupancy. Being forced to settle with a fourth roommate can bring mixed results, however, most of the time, the living situation will be less than desirable. Once all the roommates have been selected and everyone is agreed, it is recommended to set forth some ground rules to try and maintain harmony. Basic, but excellent, ground rules are: To share cleaning duties and responsibilities. Cleanliness tends to be one of the main complaints residents give when asked about their problems with their roommates. Some residents said that each roommate was responsible for cleaning up after themselves and their guests. Others went as far as saying that they split the bills for cleaning supplies and listed out cleaning duties. Remember, it is better to be more detailed in this area then not enough. To decide how communal the food will be. Unfortunately, not everyone is as courteous as you when it comes to either not eating other people’s food or supplying an equal amount of food to the townhouses supply. The best solution to this is to agree that the only food to be eaten is the food that they purchased. Of course, some townhouses prefer to eat the same meal every night. In instances such as this, makes sure that no roommate feels as if they have been taken advantage of. To discuss possible quiet hours. Some roommates may desire quiet time to study at set times throughout the day or at particular points in the semester. It is your responsibility as a courteous roommate to be respectful of such arrangements. Living arrangements such as this require that all be mature about any problems that may arise. This requires good levels of communication and a positive attitude. To decrease the likelihood of disharmony, it is recommended that all the roommates sit down to discuss the rules of the road within the first week of moving in if not sooner. In addition, do not hesitate to write out the decisions of this first meeting and have everyone sign it. This could be a beneficial tool later on should one roommate cease to uphold their end of the agreement. Remember, resident assistants have problems with roommates just like everyone else. As a department are you working to support your returning residents in making good living choices? We’re hoping that through these proactive efforts, we will empower students to make better choices that cause less stress for the students who live in them, and for the staff that must intervene when living arrangements become a problem. About the Author Evan Maxon has been a Community Advisor at Rockhurst University for 2 years. He will be continuing as an Assistant Residence Director for the 2002 academic year. He is currently a junior studying finance economics. Compiled and composed by Evan Maxon, Community Advisor, Spring 2002.