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Question: Confidentiality Problems
As I am stepping up from an RA to a RD for my senior year, one of the biggest problems I will face is rumors. Our small campus of 1,600 loves to spread them and we can't stop them.
Our staff manages to keep confidentiality for major incidents, but for most things it seems to be lost. Many rumors circulate about whom the supervisors like and dislike, personally. Rumors about our staff are sometimes spread by other staff (one RA was accused by another RA of wearing her housing staff shirt to a local bar on college night and getting drunk, when in reality she went to pick up a friend, that got stranded there).
I know RA’s like to share their odd and bizarre stories, but on a campus where everybody knows everybody you can't do it and keep confidentiality.
Many people get insulted or hurt over it. Rumors are even a problem within our professional staff. I myself was actually stopped by one of my supervisors as an RA in the middle of the school cafeteria where he expressed his concern that I was out using illegal drugs with my fraternity brothers (obviously not true and a hurtful statement). The result was someone overhearing and starting a rumor.
Because of all this we have a very high fallout rate and lose student respect. Sometimes it seems like I live in a real bad soap opera. I simply don't know what to do to stop the Reslife Rumor mill. It is killing my staffs’ team atmosphere (because of grudges that form), our experience level (many don't return for a second year), and we lose respect on campus.
What should I do?
I have a training session in the fall (1 hour) to spend on the topic. How do we go about increasing confidentiality amongst our staff team?
Read what expert Joanne Goldwater had to say…
It sounds like you are facing a rather difficult situation! I too, work at a small college (1750 FTE; 1320 residents) and we have rumors flying around all the time.
Rumors fly for lots of different reasons: boredom, nosiness, spite, retaliation and revenge, ignorance. It can be helpful to try to figure out the reason for the rumor. Did a staff member just document a resident for a conduct violation? Did someone experience a difficult break-up with a significant other? Are students bored on your campus and have “nothing better to do” than to make up stories and see how fast they get circulated around the campus? If you can try to figure out the motive for the rumor, you can try to address the situation better.
As difficult as it may be, it is important for you and your staff to deal with rumors in one of two ways, depending on the situation:
Ignore them. The phrase, “Be thinks thou dost protest too much” does have some truth at times. If people make a big scene about something that is said, others may start thinking it is true. Be giving the rumor time and attention, it keeps it alive much longer.
Confront the person spreading the rumor and try to find out why, explain why spreading a rumor can cause pain and hardship, and give the person the facts (if appropriate).
We are social beings and gossiping about others will always be something we have to deal with.
An exercise to consider…
To help train our staff on confidentiality, I use this exercise…
Ask staff to write down a secret on a piece of paper, put it into an envelope, seal the envelope and write their name on the front of the envelope. Gather the staff together. Tell them to pass their envelope to the person to the left or right. Tell them to pass it again, and again, and as many times as you feel is appropriate (I usually have them pass it about four or five times). Select one staff member to stand up and come to the front of the group. Ask that staff member to start opening the envelope he/she is holding. Stop them as the envelope is being opened (they should not open it all the way) and ask the staff member to read the name on the front of the envelope. Ask that person to stand up. Ask the first staff member (who has the envelope in his or her hand) how it feels be in the position of revealing a secret about someone else. Ask that person how he or she thinks the other staff member feels. Then, ask the other staff member to share with the group what they are feeling at that moment (given that someone else is about to open the envelope and read what is inside).
Ask the group if there are any trust issues involved at this moment, and what they think the exercise is trying to demonstrate, etc. Discuss and process the activity with the staff team (how people feel about rumors, about breaching confidentiality, about whether this is a problem for the staff team, about the importance of maintaining trust through appropriate confidentiality).
To close the activity, set specific goals for confidentiality for the year. If this is a big enough issue, you may want some of your RAs to write up a confidentiality pledge that all members of the staff sign during a confidentiality ceremony.
For final closure, either have the staff members return the envelopes (without opening them) to their rightful owner, or collect all of the envelopes, tear them up and discard them away from where the activity took place. Do not allow the envelopes to be opened.
Encouraging confidentiality, trust and a strong staff team all year long…
It also sounds like you are experiencing problems on campus that negatively impact your sense of team, trust, and support for each other. Trust, team, and support take time to build. It needs to be a constant process (not something that is done once during pre-semester training and forgotten). It starts soon after the staff members are selected in the spring for the following fall.
We have our building Residence Hall Coordinators (RHCs are undergraduates who supervise a building and a staff) get their staff members for the following year together in April (after staff selection and placement are done), for a fun, social event together (we give them $30 per building to use toward food or whatever). Staff members start to get to know each other at this event.
When they return in August for training, we do numerous teambuilding activities, and “pound” into their heads that they are the premier student leaders on campus, the importance of maintaining confidentiality, and that they are each other’s best support system (they don’t have to be best friends, but they do have to work together and help each other). We remind them about life in the “fish bowl” and that they will be scrutinized by the other students. Because of this we work to help them understand that their co-workers in their buildings and on staff are there to help them, be a sounding board, and to support them because only other RAs know what it is like to be an RA.
During the year, the RHCs will occasionally break from their usual weekly staff meeting to do a fun, get-off-campus-to-blow-off-steam staff meeting (going bowling or to IHOP are very popular!). At mid-year training, we do more teambuilding activities. Throughout the year, we try to bring the staff together occasionally for social stuff (refreshments during in-services, holiday reception in December, etc.). We encourage the staff to attend each other’s programs.
It will take time to deal with all of these issues. Be sure to set clear, easy to understand and remember expectations (put them in writing for your staff). Try to nip problems, concerns, and issues as quickly as possible instead of hoping they will “just go away.” Deal with issues privately (not in the middle of the cafeteria as you know from experience!). Share your concerns (appropriately) with your supervisors and co-workers and try to get support from them. Given time, energy, and effort, I’m sure you will make some strides in reducing some of the problems you have been experiencing. If I can be of any additional assistance, please contact me. Good luck!